The Lord’s Day Morning
I Timothy 5:1-16
“Caring for the Church”
Dr. J. Ligon Duncan III
If you have your Bibles, I’d invite you to turn with me to
First Timothy, chapter five. We’ve been working through this book of First
Timothy as part of a larger study of three letters often called “the Pastoral
Epistles”: I Timothy, II Timothy, and Titus. We’ve noted how throughout this
letter the Apostle Paul not only gives wise advice and counsel from an old,
experienced minister of the gospel–an elder, an apostle, a church planter, an
evangelist, a missionary–to a young man who has been one of his church planting
assistants and is now pastoring a local congregation in Ephesus. Paul doesn’t
merely give advice and counsel, however; he sets forth what are God’s priorities
for a healthy local church. And in this passage today I’d like you to see three
things in particular as we study God’s word to us.
First of all, in verses one and two, you’ll
note how Paul concentrates on the issue of the way that Timothy is to relate to
different kinds of people in his congregation. Timothy is not to treat
everybody the same way. Now that perhaps goes against the grain of some of our
most cherished cultural assumptions in the twenty-first century, modern,
Western, progressive, advanced world. But Paul says Timothy is not to relate to
everybody in the congregation the same way.
Then if you look at verses three through eight,
you’ll see Paul go on to say to Timothy that the church is to have a standing
concern to care for those in the local congregation who are in need. And he
discusses with Timothy how the church is to go about discerning those who are
truly in need.
And then finally, if you look at verses nine to
sixteen, Paul goes on to speak with Timothy about the qualifications of
those who serve in the church: not as officers, but those who serve in assisting
the officers of the church in the ministry of the church. And you’ll notice the
high standards that Paul applies even for those who carry no official title in
the church. They’re serving alongside of the deacons and elders in the local
church, but they are to meet certain standards of Christian living before they
Now this gives us the three-part outline of this
passage. Before we hear it read, let’s look to the Lord in prayer and ask
for His blessing on our study of it.
Father, this is Your word. You mean it for the
edification of Your people and of Your church. We pray, O Lord, that we would,
as we read Your word, bring to mind misconceptions that we have had about how
the church should live and work. We pray at the same time that You would
confirm in us correct views of how the church should live and minister together,
and that You would open our eyes to behold wonderful truth in Your word in areas
that we have never considered. In all these things we ask that You would get
glory; that Christ would be glorified in His church; that Your church would
become more like You intend it to be; and that we ourselves would become more
like Jesus Christ. We ask this in Jesus’ name. Amen.
This is God’s word. Hear it.
“Do not sharply rebuke an older man, but rather appeal
to him as a father; the; younger men as brothers, the older women as mothers,
and the younger women as sisters, in all purity. Honor widows who are widows
indeed; but if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to
practice piety in regard to their own family, and to make some return to their
parents; for this is acceptable in the sight of God. Now she who is a widow
indeed and who has been left alone has fixed her hope on God, and continues in
entreaties and prayers night and day. But she who gives herself to wanton
pleasure is dead even while she lives. Prescribe these things as well, so that
they may be above reproach. But if any one does not provide for his own, and
especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith, and is worse
than an unbeliever. Let a widow be put on the list only if she is not less than
sixty years old, having been the wife of one man, have a reputation for good
works; and if she has brought up children, if she has shown hospitality to
strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has assisted those in
distress, and if she has devoted herself to every good work. But refuse to put
younger widows on the list, for when they feel sensual desires in disregard of
Christ, they want to get married, thus incurring condemnation, because they have
set aside their previous pledge. And at the same time they also learn to be
idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also
gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention. Therefore,
I want younger widows to get married, bear children, keep house, and give the
enemy no occasion for reproach; for some have already turned aside to follow
Satan. If any woman who is a believer has dependent widows, let her assist
them, and let not the church be burdened, so that it may assist those who are
Amen. Thus ends this reading of
God’s holy, inspired, and inerrant word. May He write its truth upon our
Now this is a strange passage, isn’t it? It doesn’t
have the feel of I Timothy 1,2,3, and 4. The personal nature of Paul’s
interaction with Timothy is for the moment set aside, and now some specific
practical directions for ministry in the life of the congregation is set forth.
And perhaps it seems just a little bit distant for us. After all, we live in an
affluent culture, and we have things like disability insurance, and we have term
life insurance, and whole life insurance, and investments and 401(k)’s, and
nursing homes, and all sorts of other things. And this is a different world.
These people are, by comparison to us, much less well off. They don’t have the
cultural safety nets that we have, and yet Paul is giving instructions for the
church caring for the church in this passage, the principles of which still
apply to us today. However different our cultural situation, there are some
grand principles for us to apply. We don’t really have time to even begin to do
justice to this passage, but let me sketch at least for a few moments some of
these great principles.
I. The Church is to be a place of
mutual accountability, but care is to be taken in the way we relate to different
kinds of members.
Let’s start in the very first of the three
sections. Look at verses one and two, because here Timothy is being instructed
in how to relate to different people in the congregation. And here’s Paul’s
principle: Everyone is not the same in the Christian Church, and therefore,
that reality should be reflected in ministry. Now as I said before, that cuts
against our own most cherished cultural presuppositions. After all, our
Declaration of Independence tells us that all men are created equal, and in
our day and time that has been taken to mean that because all human beings are
equal, all of them have to be treated in the same way.
And here’s Paul saying, “Timothy, don’t treat
everyone the same way in the congregation.” Isn’t that interesting? It is. And
it’s so wise and common-sensical, and it’s so biblical. You see, the church is
to be a place of mutual accountability. We’re to be holding one another
accountable in Christ. We’re to be helping one another in the living of the
Christian life. But care is to be taken in the way that we relate to one another
as we hole one another accountable. And Timothy is told, “You are not to speak
to older men as if they are upstarts. You’re to appeal to them as fathers. And
you’re not to speak to younger men in untactful ways. You’re not to speak to
them imperiously. You’re to speak to them like brothers.”
You see, already Paul is telling Timothy, we’re a
family in the local church, and we’re to relate to one another as a family. And
you, Timothy, as a young man, even when you see an older man straying, you are
not to speak to him in a harsh and strident and demeaning way. You’re to speak
to him as if he were your own father, because God has brought you into His
family, and because that family is expressed in the life of the local church,
Timothy, you are to express in your dealings with the different members of the
congregation your respect for their different stations in the family of God.
Those older men are to be treated as fathers in the Lord. Those younger men are
to be treated as brothers in the Lord.
And notice he doesn’t just stop there. It’s not
just that Timothy is to treat the old in a specific manner and the young in
another manner. He’s to deal with men and women differently. He goes on to say,
“You appeal to older women as mothers.” These women are not to be neglected in
pastoral care. They’re also to be admonished. They’re also to be challenged to
live the Christian life, but when those older women sin, they are to be
approached despite their standing, and because of their standing they are to be
approached with the same consideration as one would approach an erring mother.
A loving son is to correct his own mother with humility, a searching of heart, a
wrestling at the throne of grace, and spiritual wisdom. And Timothy is to
approach the older women of the congregation in this way.
And also notice, he says in verse two, he’s to
approach younger women as sisters. They too are to be admonished. Their
spiritual best interests are to be looked out for, but they’re to be treated as
sisters. They’re to be dealt with in purity. Timothy is to be careful in his
relationships with females, especially younger females, that everything would be
above reproach; that he would deal with them in the utmost integrity and sexual
And so Paul is telling Timothy, “Don’t treat
everyone the same in the church. Recognize their stations.” That cuts against
so much that we assume in our culture today. We think that everybody is the
same, but Paul knows that everybody is not the same. And therefore, we are to
recognize that. God didn’t make some sort of an aggregate, collective,
cut-out-of-the-cookie-cutter person. He made individuals. And those individuals
constitute the church, and the different stations that they hold in life, these
are to be respected as we minister in the church. The church is to be a place
of mutual accountability. There may be a time when a younger man in this church
sees an older man straying from the faith. That older man is not simply to be
allowed to go his own way into sin, but as that younger man calls him back to
the Lord he’s to respect his station in life. It’s common sense, but it’s so
wise, and it’s so biblical.
That’s the first thing we see in this
passage: the Christian church is to be a place of accountability, but we don’t
treat everyone the same way.
II. The Church is to show
Christ’s love tangibly to those I need, but not preempt the family.
The second thing is this. Look at verses
three through eight. Here Paul speaks to Timothy about the role of family and
church in the care of needy Christians in the congregation. He explicitly
speaks about widows in this passage, but what he says could be applied to those
who are in need who are not widows. Paul’s point to Timothy is that the church
is to show Christ’s love tangibly to those in need, but not to pre-empt the
families of these members in helping them in times of need.
You’ll remember that Jesus told His disciples in
John 13 that “they [the world] will know that you are My disciples by the way
that you love one another.” He had given them the example in John 13 of washing
the disciple’s feet. In other words, their love was not simply to be in word,
it was to be in deed in the way that they tangibly expressed their love. In
care for one another, the world was to see that they were indeed His disciples.
And in Acts 2 and Acts 6 we find out that that was exactly what was going on in
the Christian Church in Jerusalem. As the Christian Church cared for those who
were in need, the world around them took notice and said ‘Something’s going on
there. Those people are caring for one another.’ And here is Paul exhorting
Timothy in Ephesus, in another part of the world, all the way across the
Mediterranean Sea. He’s saying, “This congregation is to live just like that.
Just as the saints in Jerusalem are looking out for one another, caring for
those in need…Timothy, in your congregation you are to be showing Christ’s
love tangibly as well, because it’s a witness to the world that we belong to
And notice the specific instruction that he
gives. Look at verse three The church, he says, must honor needy widows.
“Honor those who are widows indeed.” Paul is emphasizing to Timothy that the
church has a definite responsibility to care for these truly needy widows, and
by extension to all those who are truly needy in its midst. “Honor” here, of
course, means simply more than to treat with high regard, it means to give great
consideration, and when necessary even material support to those who are widows.
But notice that Paul himself makes the indication
that those who are being supported by the church must be….what? Widows
indeed. Now, he’ll define for us what he means by “widows indeed” in just a few
moments, but let me just highlight two aspects of it.
First of all, a “widow indeed” for Paul is a woman
who truly, having been widowed, has no one else to help her in life. She has
no children who are there, part of that congregation who will care for her in
her time of need. She has no brothers or sisters in that congregation who will
care for her. She has predeceased her parents. Her parents are not there in
that congregation to help her. That is, she has no family relations to come and
be her safety net in a time of particular vulnerability, and so she is a person
who is truly alone. She’s not a person who has several children who are there
and are perfectly capable of caring for her. She is a person who is truly alone.
And notice also, she is a person who has truly
manifested her commitment to Jesus Christ in the life of this congregation.
This is not someone who is living a profligate life; this is not someone who
professes to be a believer, but who in their deeds reveals that she is not a
believer: this is someone who has lived the Christian life. You see his
description of her in verses five and six.
Now this is important, because Paul is perfectly
aware of the phenomenon of children who refuse to take responsibility for caring
for their parents. You remember the old Dutch proverb: “It seems easier for
one poor father to rear ten children than for ten rich children to care for one
poor father.” Paul knew this reality even two thousand years ago, before the
days of Medicare and Medicaid and modern healthcare and nursing homes, and all
the problems that have come with extended life expectancy. Paul knew that
problem of families refusing to take responsibility for the care of their own
family members, and Paul has some very strong words for those who refuse to do
Notice verse eight: “If anyone does not provide for
his own, and especially for those of his own household, he has denied the faith,
and is worse than an infidel.” Worse than an unbeliever, worse than one who is
not a disciple of Jesus Christ. Paul takes very seriously the family
responsibility in the care of elderly parents and of those who are in the
situation of being widowed.
It’s very interesting. You may have noticed in
today’s newspaper an article about homelessness, on the very first page. When
Glen Knecht arrived in Columbia, South Carolina, as pastor of the First
Presbyterian Church of Columbia, the church was involved in a downtown soup
kitchen that ministered to homeless people. Glen had a heart for ministering to
the needy, but he was also a person who wanted to be very practical and wise
about the ministry to the needy, and so in the first few weeks that he was at
the church he made it his business to go down to the soup kitchen and to
interview all the homeless people who were making regular use of the soup
kitchen. He asked them questions about their lives, and about their families,
and about what they did, and about what they thought. And one of the things
that he found out in the case of almost every person who was taking part in the
soup kitchen’s ministry to the homeless was this: the reason that they were on
the street stretched back to a break that they had had with family members.
Almost all of them had family members who could have taken them in, but because
of either their sin against the family or the family’s sin against them, there
had been a break in family relations, and therefore they had fallen through the
Glen then went to those who were managing the soup
kitchen, and he said, “Do you realize by continuing to provide uniformly this
ministry to these people, you are in fact in many cases keeping them from doing
the very thing they need to do in order to get back on their feet?”
Now it’s interesting to me that Paul is saying here,
don’t pre-empt the family responsibility in ministering to those in need in the
church. How wise is that! That’s not unloving. It’s the most loving thing that
you can do, because ultimately the family first bears the responsibility for
those in need. As we enlarge our hearts–and we should enlarge our hearts in our
congregation–to care for those in need, we must take care that our heart is
enlarged wisely, and that we show care to those who need it most without
pre-empting the mechanisms that God has implanted in the very fabric of society
to provide for those who are in need. Paul is calling the church to love
tangibly those who are in need, but not pre-empt family responsibilities.
III. The Christian life is never a
matter of merely taking, getting or receiving — it is a display of giving.
Finally, look at verses nine to sixteen. Here Paul
makes it clear…it’s fascinating…hat those who are supported by the church
are to give back to the church’s ministry. And at the same time he makes it
clear that those who minister alongside the elders and the deacons of the church
are to be held to the highest standards of Christian living. You see, the
Christian life is never a matter of merely taking or giving, or receiving; it is
always a display of giving, even if we have very little, materially speaking, to
He speaks in verse nine of a widow being put on “the
list.” Now, what in the world does that mean? Well, it’s clear from this
passage that “the list” involves a widow who is in the situation of material
need described in verses three through eight. She is a widow indeed. She has no
one else to care for her. But this widow indeed is also one who performs
spiritual and charitable functions for the church. In other words, she assists
the deacons and the elders in the ministry of the church. She’s over sixty
years old. She pledges herself that she will serve the church for the rest of
her life, and she will assist in the ways that the church deems best. She will
be an intercessor for the church. She will pray. She will give counsel to
younger women. She will visit the sick. She will prepare women for baptism and
communion. She will give guidance and direction to other widows and orphans
supported by the church. She will serve in all these ways.
Isn’t it interesting…this woman, who has had no
means for material support of herself, is supported by the church. And yet, she
is viewed as a person who has something to give back to the church. She’s not
simply the recipient of welfare. She, in receiving the outpouring of the
church’s support for her in time of need, will turn around and do what? Give
back to the church, of herself.
And so in this passage Paul establishes a
principle that the Christian life is never merely a matter of receiving, of
taking, of getting; but it always entails giving back that which we have
received. Paul gives some strict warnings about putting younger widows on this
list. You can see the obvious difficulties of a younger woman making a pledge
to serve the church in exchange for the church’s support of her in her time of
need, and then deciding later on that she’d rather re-marry. And so Paul gives
again the very practical, common-sensical advice: “Younger widows, don’t make
this pledge. Instead, re-marry. Have a family. Be involved in the normal
trends and stations of life. Don’t make this extraordinary commitment to the
Again, do you see the wisdom of Paul here? Paul
isn’t just looking to fill a slot of ministry. He’s always thinking about the
well being of those who are ministering. And so he says to the younger widows,
‘Don’t do this to yourself. If God be pleased, re-marry, and you go ahead and
have a family and a life that would have been normal.’
And he says, of course, that those who are
going to serve on the widows list must not simply be widows in need, but they
must be those who have practiced hospitality, who reared children and rendered
service to traveling ministers, and assisted the afflicted, and been devoted to
every kind of good work. So those who are going to serve the church are going
to meet qualifications.
How wise this is. In our day and time, we tend to
think of volunteers in terms of what they have to offer to us, and apart from
their character. And Paul says look at the character of all those who are
volunteering in the church, and unless they meet these marks of character, don’t
allow them to minister.
And secondly, care about them. Don’t just use them.
Care about their station in life. If this is a younger widow, don’t let her
do this to herself. Let her have the opportunity to re-marry, and to serve in
the normal courses of life. Paul’s words of wisdom give us principles for how we
ought to operate today. And as we operate in these ways, we manifest the
tangible love of Christ for His people to a watching world.
Our heavenly Father, You have promised that You
will provide for us in time of need. And in this passage You have shown how the
church itself is to show Your provision. When we provide for one another in
time of need, we show that You are indeed the Lord who provides. We pray,
heavenly Father, that as a congregation we would become more tangibly loving in
this way; that everyone in this community would say ‘Look how they care for one
another. Look how they look out for one another in times of need, and even of
destitution.’ We pray as well that we would show this same kind of love
increasingly towards many other Christians in this community, and that the
Christian churches of Jackson would become this kind of local church; that we
would manifest the love of Christ actually and really, in ways that one can
sense not only in the hearts of those who are around them, but can see in their
deeds. We pray, O God, that You would change us to be like this through the
workings of Your Holy Spirit. We ask it in Jesus’ name. Amen.
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© 2019 First Presbyterian Church.
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